Im a 34 year old from the US. Im sure I'll get bashed by a fans or a residents of the country if I mention it, so i'm not going to say exactly where it was but it was in South America.
I have visited various cities of this country over the past 6 years or so for a week or two at a time and I and never really felt anything but positive. Ever since then it was my plan to make it a second home or live there full time. Visited many times, made friends, perfected my spanish, learned about the culture, learned about the history, learned the popular dance styles. Just really enjoyed everything about it and basically had nothing but great experiences with great people. There were some downsides, a few slightly annoying cultural quirks, but nothing I really cared about. After quitting my job I decided I was more serious about moving there so I decided to take a long trip to both take a break and take a hard look at living there.
I recently got back home after staying in the country for around 7 months. I had been looking forward to this trip for years and organizing my life to be able to take it. This is after not being in the country since before covid...so about 2-3 years.
Unfortunately I wanted to leave about a month in.
Something seems to have really changed...just the sentiment. I did not feel well received at all and there were many times where I was made to feel uncomfortable and unwelcome in public spaces like restaurants, grocery stores, just walking down the street. It became obvious to me pretty quickly that there was a shifting sentiment towards foreigners in the country and you just weren't wanted there by quite a few people. The eye rolls, stares, ugly looks...people talking negatively about foreigners and making sure you can hear it, entire tables snickering and turning and pointing at you while youre alone in a restaurant trying to eat... etc. Just what I perceived to be xenophobic behavior that I had never experienced here in the past.
I met a lot of really nice people and made a ton of friends, people inviting me to spend holidays with their family and everything else. But it was offset by the negative encounters and experiences I had. Had people act friendly towards me on the entire drive to where you think they genuine like you and then they rip you off before you get out of the car...people smiling when transacting with them and then you look back and they are making an ugly face as youre walking off. The guy at the hotel was the chillest person ever until the last day where I paid with a large bill and he tried to short change me by a ton. Once this sort of thing happens to you a couple times it kind of changes your mindset and you start to think that people dont really genuinely like you, they just want to get something out of you. I don't want to live having to deal and think about that.
I cant think of any reason for any of this, other than the fact that im a very obvious foreigner. Tourists have made a very bad name for themselves here so I absolutely do understand why some people do not like them. I do not expect anything special or extra of anyone, and people have no obligation to be particularly nice to anyone. Nobody has to do anything special to make me feel comfortable.
I was honestly looking for reasons to stay, and ways to mix and connect with people but I just kept finding negative experiences. I know I will never be from their country but I wanted to belong and feel like I had something there. Just makes me sad honestly rather than angry because I genuinely wanted to find a home there.
So basically at this point I feel like the last 5-6 years of planning my life is just out the window. I dont want to have to gauge people and second guess if this person dislikes foreigners or not before talking to them....and honestly thats what started happening to me. There are plenty of foreigners who dont seem to see these things when I talked to them about it, but unfortunately I did.
I know some level of xenophobia or dislike towards outsiders will exist pretty much everywhere I go, but I did not know how to deal with it when it was happening because I had never experienced it. Pretty let down but I hope I can keep it from affecting me going forward so im not viewing things cynically. Has anyone else dealt with this sort of thing?